touched…by the greatness of her simple gestures of love

and grateful…to the family for sharing their life so openly and intimately with us, as if we were part of the family…allowing us to grief with them and sharing with us life’s most important lesson on Family

I have grown through your experience…so thank you.

Anyway, random thought – always wondered why the short form for kilometre or km is ‘click’. Always hear ppl saying that but never know why or how that is spelt. hmm

I still can’t believe I’m actually doing it. My 5-year plan came true.

It fell on my lap so unexpectedly, I almost feel that I don’t really deserve it.

But somehow, my approach to studying has changed. It’s not about how to do well anymore, as I think I’ve learnt after 15 years of education what it takes to do well (although doing well is relative). But rather, I find that the real challenge to me, is what I need to learn in order to excel in Adulthood – the Balancing Act of Life.

Juggling schoolwork, housework, husband-time, family-time, work (oh! I almost forgot ;p) and personal time (what’s exercise? oh! sleep you mean)……I know better than to wish for 48 hrs in a day, but I do wish I could read faster……

So maybe after 2 years in school, I would have learnt to prioritise my duties and multi-task like Superwoman, grow my intellect (but hopefully not my waistline), while maintaining a strong and loving relationship with my husband. And then maybe… just maybe… I’ll be ready for Motherhood.

Ok…enough of goal-setting…for now, it’s back to school, or rather…back to Learning.

Yesterday I just found out which bus goes to my new house. And which bus stop to alight at.

I feel like a kid all over again, learning new things, finding my way around, observing the new environment. As I walked towards my block last evening, I watched the kids play at the badminton court, the adults jogging around the mini track, and peeped at my new neighbours while going up in the lift.

I cooked my first proper meal last week, and another one on Monday. Went to the NTUC downstairs to buy the ingredients. As I navigated my way around the compact store, I tried to look nonchalant like the rest of the resident shoppers, to hide my inexperience and glee of finding comfort food (milk, juice, cereal, oats!) amongst the rows of the cold metal shelves.

1st meal – chilli ramen with pork slices and cabbage

2nd meal – fried noodles with ham & onion, japanese-style, and yong tau foo soup

Huns passed both of them, but the real test (proper food) has yet to come. Nonetheless, was quite pleased with my first few attempts at cooking after so many years since Home Econs! (yes, mummy has really pampered us)

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House chores aren’t as bad as I thought they would be. Huns has been really helpful and I think we work pretty well as a team. I’m so glad for him and count my blessings every day.

Things are settling down and now what’s left are all the miscellaneous post-wedding and post-honeymoon duties like printing photos, distributing presents, organising bills, uploading photos on FB…fun but tedious stuff.

But life goes on. J is out of office and suddenly I’m sort of in charge. Feels strange but I do appreciate the stretch. MBA interview is next Friday, and then I’ll know if we should hold off the family planning for another 2 years or not.

Daddy’s birthday is coming too, and I’m really looking forward to spending some quality time with the family, catching up over good food and nice ambience at Valentino’s (if all goes well and Dad’s back in time).

Realised that life is like a wheel, always turning, and there’s so much to look forward to…

At this point, I feel invigorated, like life has just ‘restarted’ for me. The page has turned. A new chapter has just begun.

Yet, a part of me wishes that I will always remember how it feels to be staying with my family in Dairy Farm…the familiar sights, sounds, smells…I never want to forget that feeling. Every now and then, I still think of these images, and sometimes even allow myself to be afraid of losing these precious memories…because this fear reminds me of who I am, and where my roots are…

Like in a transition tunnel, I see a bright light ahead of me, beckoning me to explore further. But as I turn back, the comfort and familiarity of family warmth still lingers like an attachment to an old blanket, a feeling that I am unwilling to let go of…but must if I want to move on in life.

I suppose the process of coming to terms with my new role, new life and new responsibilities has brought about many emotions. But one thing I have decided is that, I want to build a stronger and closer bond with my family, even though we are not physically together. It is not a resolution, but a value that I hold close to my heart and was grateful to be reminded of during the more tender moments of my wedding…

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Next chapter. I am currently reading the Art of Marriage. The book is such an inspiration I will share some words of wisdom in my next post.

When unsupervised, I tend to let it wander…let it indulge in frivolous things (which I always justify for)…let it go to places it shouldn’t go…let it take over what I should be DOING…which is the scary part.

I used to rationalise that perhaps, I’m wired to be a deep thinker…but now I realise that I’m just wasting precious time. To what end? My nemesis would ask.

I don’t know, actually…

So the question now is: what is my remedy? Very simply, it is my nemesis and greatest friend. He helps me to fight my inner demons by shaking me awake to reality. I am weak in this way.

/but alas, he is not here now. I need to save me from myself./

House 95% settled…

Wedding 75% settled…

Honeymoon 5% settled…

Just a few more clicks and bookings and we’re set to roll

is not about saying “sorry”

or finding ways to make up for mistakes

but rather, it is the courage to move on

that makes the difference.

Not fast enough

Not knowledgeable enough

Not strategic enough

It’s not enough to work smart.

Also…

Another of life’s painful lessons.

with new fires to fight everyday for close to a month…this is probably the lowest point in the past 2 yrs…

I need this:mental strength.

/I cannot and should not give up without a fight…/